Thursday, March 3, 2011

Girls and Boys

Girl's night on American Idol was a real let down, eh? Not that I had high expectations for any of these contestants. In fact, I had no expectations as I don't recall seeing half of them before that night. Lots of no-face-timers.

Here are some unfortunate stats from the top 12 girl's night that contributed to my boredom:

1) 6 out of 12 girls chose songs dating back from before the year they were born.
2) 7 out of 12 girls chose songs that I can recall hearing at least once on a previous season of American Idol.
3) 7 out of 12 girls sung ballads. Tired ones.
4) 1 girl sang a dated ballad in a language I no comprende.
5) 1 girl chose a song by Monica, and it wasn't The Boy is Mine, her smash hit duet with Brandy.

I know the judges and I say this every year, but song choice is critical here. Do these girls wanna put out a current album, or do they wanna stand on a stage one time and sing a nostalgic song that reminds them of the long road trips they would take with their parents as a child? When I go Karaoke singing, I usually pick a Neal Diamond song, like America, or Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show, because I don't have plans to put out an album.

The most interesting girl of the night was interesting for all the wrong reasons. It was the girl who sang the lounge-singer version of Criminal by Fiona Apple. Her rearrangement of the melody was bad, she looked super awkward, trying to slank sexily over to the judges table, and then dash back to the stage like she was about to catch a football, but it was entertainment. It was the only performance I remembered the next day, and she's the only girl I'd be interested in seeing more from. Again, for all the wrong reasons.

Overall, I'm not really interested in who goes through out of the girls. What are your thoughts on the girls? Do you care as little as I do?

Now, about them boys... them boys are much more interesting, and I suspect it's gonna be all about them this season. Like the girls, most of the boys picked dated, tired, over-sung songs, but they still managed to put on an interesting show.

I still don't like Chapstick guy, regardless of the fact that he can sing awesomely. The song he picked had me rollin my eyes and putting on chapstick dismissively.

I hope he doesn't make it through, but I think he has a chance. Unlike poor sweet dear little JC Slater.

Here are the five I hope make it through to the next round, purely for my own entertainment, although they may not be the best singers.

I had high hopes Jim Halpert. He didn't do so good, so I'm being unrealistic here, hoping he gets through.

I expected James Turrets to be over the top, and I looked forward to that spectacle; however, he surprised me by climbing right to the top of candy mountain and then stopping before toppling over. He will never be boring, so for that reason alone, I need him to stay.

Adam Lambert

I'm not a country fan, but I find myself wanting to listen to Babylockthemdoors's sing anything, including Monica songs if he so choses.

"Hello TV land," said Paul in his Rod Stewart voice, and then he sang Maggie May, whilst moving and bending like an animatronic Jack Sparrow. Now that's what I wanna see.

Last but not least, my very favoritest contestant so far, Brett Loewenstern:

Forget about Brett's voice for a minute... you know how he booked it off the stage right after Ryan announced the voting number, and then Ryan called him to come back because he wasn't supposed to just take off like that, and then Brett turned back and went, "Huh? Oh! You want a hug, Ryan?" and then he rushed back to hug Ryan? Charmingly clueless. That's why I like him.

So, what boys do you want to see move on to the next round? Let's hear it.


Whoops! I completely forgot about Casey Abrams and his upright bass! Hotpants called and brought that mistake to my attention right away (she has a thing for upright bass players), but I didn't have a chance to get back on here and correct it. He indeed must to be in the top 5, so I guess Jim Halpert is out. Jim hasn't seemed the same since he married Pam anyways.


Hot Pants said...

I love love LOVE that last guy who also plays the upright bass. The girls were a snoozefest and I had to take an upper right after the show just to get out from the depression their crappy songs put me into. Send them all home! Other than that I agree about the Rod Stewart guy and the red headed guy that was nice to JC. I loved his dance moves too.

Memzy said...

The animatronic Johnny Depp!!! You. Nailed. It. But I like the fact that he moves weird. I'm so all about the boys. That little orphan Annie clueless boy is the Cutest. So sweet and naive. And I agree with all your other faves but I have to agree with Amy about the other red head bearded bass player. He is the biggest dork ever. But that's why I like him.

Markie23 said...

Well Landee... oh, wait, what the..?

Landee said...

Right Markie? It's like she's trying to take my JOB!

And srsly, no mention of Casey Abrams/fragglerock character!! If you don't want boring then you must keep this one. You simply must. Do you not remember his mid-song growl? Nothing boring there. And I can't wait to see what other instruments this "film camp worker" pulls outta his bag o' tricks.

I agree on the other doods though. I could do without James Turrets but he has a kid he's trying to support and stuff so he tugs at the ole heartstrings a bit.

And the girls are atrocious. Flat out awful. I was sore from all the cringing last night.

Katie said...

Thank you, I needed the recap. I tried to watch it myself, but I was too afraid that Paul McDonald's radioactive teeth would burn a hole through my screen.

Jenny ESP said...

Yes, yes! You are all right about the bass player! The dork must stay, I just forgot him is all.

Markie--I like to blog my two sense about AI from time to time if that's OK with you, Internet Policeman. I've actually done so for years, my first AI post pre-dating this Landee person you've mistaken me for by several days. (So if you wanna get technical, she copied me, but I think it's adorable/flattering). It was a hilarious post, I might add. I suggest you go back in the archives and read it.

Landee--do your job, fhs, so I don't have to. Markie's throwing a fit!

Katie--you are welcome, and don't be scared of Paul's teeth. I believe those are microwaves coming off his teeth. Completely harmless.

Carol said...

Jespy, I loved your post/analysis of Tuesday and Wednesday's shows. You say things I wasn't even thinking about as I merrily watched each performer. Tonight's show (results) was GOOD. I agreed with some, disagreed with others. I will not elaborate now. I'm thinking---thinking---thinking about all of them and my vote is this: I LOVE THE JUDGES. Love them. I will await Landee's remarks but yours have no less value to me. Just sayin'.

Jenny ESP said...

Carol Parks, you are the kindest person on the Internet, which is exactly why I pretend you're my Aunt Visor. Jussayin'. I will not elaborate on the results show now either, I'll save that valuable opinion for later. But believe you me, I am not entirely happy with that baker's dozen.

Krissy said...

I love this post! I agree on all accounts, and that picture of chapstick guy...hilarious!