Here are some unfortunate stats from the top 12 girl's night that contributed to my boredom:
1) 6 out of 12 girls chose songs dating back from before the year they were born.
2) 7 out of 12 girls chose songs that I can recall hearing at least once on a previous season of American Idol.
3) 7 out of 12 girls sung ballads. Tired ones.
4) 1 girl sang a dated ballad in a language I no comprende.
5) 1 girl chose a song by Monica, and it wasn't The Boy is Mine, her smash hit duet with Brandy.
I know the judges and I say this every year, but song choice is critical here. Do these girls wanna put out a current album, or do they wanna stand on a stage one time and sing a nostalgic song that reminds them of the long road trips they would take with their parents as a child? When I go Karaoke singing, I usually pick a Neal Diamond song, like America, or Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show, because I don't have plans to put out an album.
The most interesting girl of the night was interesting for all the wrong reasons. It was the girl who sang the lounge-singer version of Criminal by Fiona Apple. Her rearrangement of the melody was bad, she looked super awkward, trying to slank sexily over to the judges table, and then dash back to the stage like she was about to catch a football, but it was entertainment. It was the only performance I remembered the next day, and she's the only girl I'd be interested in seeing more from. Again, for all the wrong reasons.
Overall, I'm not really interested in who goes through out of the girls. What are your thoughts on the girls? Do you care as little as I do?
Now, about them boys... them boys are much more interesting, and I suspect it's gonna be all about them this season. Like the girls, most of the boys picked dated, tired, over-sung songs, but they still managed to put on an interesting show.
I still don't like Chapstick guy, regardless of the fact that he can sing awesomely. The song he picked had me rollin my eyes and putting on chapstick dismissively.
I hope he doesn't make it through, but I think he has a chance. Unlike poor sweet dear little JC Slater.
Here are the five I hope make it through to the next round, purely for my own entertainment, although they may not be the best singers.
I had high hopes Jim Halpert. He didn't do so good, so I'm being unrealistic here, hoping he gets through.
I expected James Turrets to be over the top, and I looked forward to that spectacle; however, he surprised me by climbing right to the top of candy mountain and then stopping before toppling over. He will never be boring, so for that reason alone, I need him to stay.
I'm not a country fan, but I find myself wanting to listen to Babylockthemdoors's sing anything, including Monica songs if he so choses.
"Hello TV land," said Paul in his Rod Stewart voice, and then he sang Maggie May, whilst moving and bending like an animatronic Jack Sparrow. Now that's what I wanna see.
Last but not least, my very favoritest contestant so far, Brett Loewenstern:
Forget about Brett's voice for a minute... you know how he booked it off the stage right after Ryan announced the voting number, and then Ryan called him to come back because he wasn't supposed to just take off like that, and then Brett turned back and went, "Huh? Oh! You want a hug, Ryan?" and then he rushed back to hug Ryan? Charmingly clueless. That's why I like him.
So, what boys do you want to see move on to the next round? Let's hear it.
Whoops! I completely forgot about Casey Abrams and his upright bass! Hotpants called and brought that mistake to my attention right away (she has a thing for upright bass players), but I didn't have a chance to get back on here and correct it. He indeed must to be in the top 5, so I guess Jim Halpert is out. Jim hasn't seemed the same since he married Pam anyways.