Friday, September 3, 2010

Hugh Grant DVDs

Tony and I were awoken from our sleep early this morning with a loud banging on our front door. Tony, dragging himself out of bed, says,"I know who it is. It's the gangsters, but don't worry, I got this."

I'm, of course, worried, as I'm more suited to handle gangsters than him. I grab the X-Acto knife from my nightstand, the one I'd been using to make Duct Tape wallets the night before. Tony grabs a stack of Hugh Grant DVDs. (See?)

I follow him out of our room as far as the landing, which overlooks the entry to our house. At this point, the gangsters have broken through the door, despite the mattress that Tony had propped up in front of it to slow them down. I don't see their faces, because once the door cracks open, Tony slides his hand through and gives them the stack of Hugh Grant DVDs. They leave without a word.

"Is that all they wanted?" I say.

"Yes," he says.

We climb back in bed, but I'm still worried because we have a few more Hugh Grant DVDs that Tony forgot to give them.

"Like what?" he says.

"Sense and Sensibility and Nanny McPhee," I say.

He says I'm right about Sense and Sensibility, but Hugh Grant isn't in Nanny McPhee. We get into a brief arguement. I toss and turn and can't fall back asleep.

On an unrelated note...

Don't you hate it when your kids hop in your bed in the morning, snuggle up next to you, and then proceed to tell you all about the dream they had the night before? I'm not interested in hearing about anyone's dream (except for Smeyer), but kids are the worst, because they tell you the long version. They don't know how to edit out the confusing, unnecessary parts. But I have to listen and act as if I'm interested in the nonsense, otherwise I'm a "bad mom".

Which brings me back to this morning...

I fell back asleep after I took the kids to school (Yes, I promised myself I would never waste my time on a nap, but I was up 'til 3am the night before with a bad case of insomnia and there was no getting around it), and during my nap I had the weirdest dream. I know you don't wanna hear about it. Listening to someone ramble on about their dream is the worst.

Which brings me to the first part of this post that didn't make much sense...

I just tricked you into reading about my dream.

Nicely done, eh? Basically, I wrote the whole thing backwards.


11 comments:

Markie23 said...

that's twisted.

Memzy said...

Brilliant. But you weren't fooling me. I saw it coming "Tony and I were awoken from our sleep" That never happens.

Cristin said...

You. Are. Genius. I hate hearing about other peoples dreams except like you, my friends Steph Meyers. But she dreams better than me so...

Landee said...

I knew it from the get-go. You wouldn't have A Hugh Grant movie let alone a stack of them. Plus you're over your duct tape wallet making phase, uh, right?

Someone once said that telling other people about your dreams is the ultimate form of self-conceit. Kids are the most conceited creatures on the planet.

eekareek said...

Lol-ing at Memzy's comment.

You should write a book series based on that dream, it was that good.

Katie said...

I agree! The only dream I want to hear about is Martin Luther King's. Eh, who am I kidding. Even that one got a little wordy.

StandsMom said...

Uh...wait a minute. I just told Landee about a dream I had a couple of days ago. Does this mean that while I was talking about it - she was thinking about me being conceited??

Jenny ESP said...

I wouldn't read too much into it, Stands. After all, she is writing a book entitled Me.
"This book will be all about ME and MY thoughts on things..."<--quote from the book jacket.

This is for you, Katie:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0F4iXEzOqY

Landee said...

It's not a real book, like about Kris Allen, or anything. But speaking of the book jacket, will you write the foreword? Thanks in advance.

And I didn't say I said it was conceited...just that someone did. I think it was a tweet actually.

Katie said...

Where has this been all my ipod’s life??

New family rule: Kids are welcome to share the details of their dreams with mom, but only after they’ve been auto tuned and remixed. Same goes for civil rights activists.

Sara M. Carter said...

gah! so clever! i got to try that sometime...hmm..