Friday, March 12, 2010

The Disaster that is American Idol, Season 9



And when I say "Rest In Peace", I'm only wishing him a good night's rest, cuz he's not dead or anything. I'm sure after last night's elimination, the poor guy tossed and turned in his bed 'til the wee hours of the morning, weeping into his adorable, tangled mullet.

Remember last season, how the judges had the power to bring back eliminated contestants, and we started with a top 13? A small piece of me is hanging onto the unrealistic hope that the same thing will happen this season, and we'll see Mullet again. Although, if the judges get the chance, it's more likely they'd bring back the mighty B instead:


(Photo courtesy Eek.)

Yes, between the two, Alzheimer should have gone home, and had Lilithair shown a little modesty in the end, I might have been sad to see her go. Alas, she couldn't contain her utter disgust with the voters, so I can't contain my utter disgust with her.

Lilithair, completely baffled: "I don't know what America wants."
Ryan, gently: "Do you think it came down to song choice?"
Lilthair, in denial: "No. Patsy Cline is the next big thing."

Besides, Lilith isn't as original as she thinks. I've seen her before, when she was Tina Yothers on Family Ties.

Anyway, back to Mullet. There have been plenty of instances in past seasons, where contestants have been sent home too soon, leaving me a bit saddened, but Mullet's early exit has left me feeling disappointed in this season as a whole. I have lukewarm feelings for a few of the remaining singers, but Mullet was the only one I was really feeling, dawg. I put all my eggs in one outdated hair-do, and now that he's out, I'll be watching the rest of the season with only a mild amount of interest.

(And I'd stop watching entirely if I wasn't planning on winning this contest.)

As much as Lilith and the rest of us want to blame the American public for this ghastly top 12, the blame lies solely with the judges, who put through too many singers that fit into the same singer-songwriter niche. There isn't enough variety this year, and all those same-niche contestants will be splitting their votes until they're whittled down to one. While contestants like Lil Orphan Aaron, who is the only contestant filling one of the biggest niches, will sweep all the country-folk votes. Likewise, Alzheimer will take the old-folks-home votes, Tim Urban gets the High School Musical votes, and ColorPaige will take the pre-schooler's votes.

All we can hope for is a brief, yet swift, backlash that will take out at least one of those single-nichers. Myself? I'm hoping the pre-schoolers are too busy coloring to pick up the phone next week.

Until then, I leave you with Alex "Mullet" Lambert's final performance. Single tear.

11 comments:

eekareek said...

Flawless. He was by far the best this season. He will be terribly missed by you and me. I will not vote again this season in his honor.

I loved Lillithairs reaction. That picture is now the display on my phone. It cracked me up the way she was acting before hand. She was totally trying to comfort Alz and patting her back and then all of a sudden, BAM, she was pizzed.

Landee said...

Tina freaking Yothers! You nailed it.

K, now that you've gotten this out of your system, it's time to forget about Mullet and move on. Always look to the future, my friend. It's time to mock the remaining contestants. Don't leave me by myself.

ManicMandee said...

Well, I'm feeling better for missing AI this season thanks to this post. Maybe next year...

Erin Beck said...

Oh Jenny, you have no idea how much it was driving me nuts trying to figure out who Lily reminded me of. How could I have not known that. I had "baby I'm back in love again taped 3 times back to back on my mixer so I wouldn't have to rewind. By the way, I wish that she had stayed and the other child had gone home. She is awful. Mullet sucked too...along with the rest of the group. I refuse to waste anymore free unlimited texting on American idol.

Jana said...

Oh Jenny, I am so with you. And it hurts. It hurts something fierce. I've even asked Eric to grow a mullet in memoriam.

Krissy said...

So sad about mullet (i dont even know his real name). He was, by far, my fave. Tina Yothers...Lollerz!

Memzy said...

::moment of silence/empty blog comment in memory of Mully::

Emily said...

I'm done with A.I. It has got to be the most annoying season ever. Total waste of my time. Besides, it's much more entertaining to come to your blog and read all about it.

Markie23 said...

There's really on one reason this season is so bad. No Paula.

Blythe said...

I'm feeling the sadness too. I'm crossingg my fingers for a top 13...

Carr Family said...

once again, thank you for the hilarious idol update. This is WAY better than actually watching the show!