Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Crushing Indifference

I know I've said it, but I'm quite disappointed with this season's top 12 American Idols. I desperately miss Mullet. And after last night’s show, I even miss Tina Yothers a little bit.

It's frustrating because I don't want to feel such crushing indifference. I want to care who goes and who stays.

(Especially since I finally got my official AI judges cup in the mail.)

Alas, it’s hard to be judgmental when I can barely muster an opinion.

This is the most I can say at this point: I don't want Timmy to go just yet.

So I voted for him as many times as I wanted B4 voting closed.

I may be alone here, but I liked his reggae spin on that lame Rolling Stone's song. He made it way better, and I liked his smooth, cool-as-a-cucumber style. But I mostly want him to stay because if he’d have the nerve to go reggae on a Rolling Stones song, then I wanna see what he’ll do next.

Anyway, on a happier note, Alex/Mullet is gonna be on Ellen today.
Set your TiVos.
And I'm growing out Gus's mullet in protest of his early dismissal from AI.

Measured it this morning, and he's got two inches on him already.

PS. For those of you who can't figure out Shebang's tattoo, it's THIS.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

We drove into the...

In the summer, I'm sure it's as scorching as the name implies, but it was perfectly lovely in March. All blue-sky and red-rock.

There are lots of interesting hikes and things to see. Apparently, in the olden days, this place was swarming with Cowboys and Injuns. And a famous renegade (named Mouse, of all things), used this one hole as his hideout.

Uh oh, Markie...

This is Tony's desert interpretation of his favorite Rush album cover:

The original:

Not too shabby, eh?

Please note: I took all of these breathtaking pictures with my cell phone (otherwise they would have been even breathtakinger), not including those two pictures of the planet Tatooine that I mixed in there to test you. I got those from the Google images.

Friday, March 12, 2010

The Disaster that is American Idol, Season 9

And when I say "Rest In Peace", I'm only wishing him a good night's rest, cuz he's not dead or anything. I'm sure after last night's elimination, the poor guy tossed and turned in his bed 'til the wee hours of the morning, weeping into his adorable, tangled mullet.

Remember last season, how the judges had the power to bring back eliminated contestants, and we started with a top 13? A small piece of me is hanging onto the unrealistic hope that the same thing will happen this season, and we'll see Mullet again. Although, if the judges get the chance, it's more likely they'd bring back the mighty B instead:

(Photo courtesy Eek.)

Yes, between the two, Alzheimer should have gone home, and had Lilithair shown a little modesty in the end, I might have been sad to see her go. Alas, she couldn't contain her utter disgust with the voters, so I can't contain my utter disgust with her.

Lilithair, completely baffled: "I don't know what America wants."
Ryan, gently: "Do you think it came down to song choice?"
Lilthair, in denial: "No. Patsy Cline is the next big thing."

Besides, Lilith isn't as original as she thinks. I've seen her before, when she was Tina Yothers on Family Ties.

Anyway, back to Mullet. There have been plenty of instances in past seasons, where contestants have been sent home too soon, leaving me a bit saddened, but Mullet's early exit has left me feeling disappointed in this season as a whole. I have lukewarm feelings for a few of the remaining singers, but Mullet was the only one I was really feeling, dawg. I put all my eggs in one outdated hair-do, and now that he's out, I'll be watching the rest of the season with only a mild amount of interest.

(And I'd stop watching entirely if I wasn't planning on winning this contest.)

As much as Lilith and the rest of us want to blame the American public for this ghastly top 12, the blame lies solely with the judges, who put through too many singers that fit into the same singer-songwriter niche. There isn't enough variety this year, and all those same-niche contestants will be splitting their votes until they're whittled down to one. While contestants like Lil Orphan Aaron, who is the only contestant filling one of the biggest niches, will sweep all the country-folk votes. Likewise, Alzheimer will take the old-folks-home votes, Tim Urban gets the High School Musical votes, and ColorPaige will take the pre-schooler's votes.

All we can hope for is a brief, yet swift, backlash that will take out at least one of those single-nichers. Myself? I'm hoping the pre-schoolers are too busy coloring to pick up the phone next week.

Until then, I leave you with Alex "Mullet" Lambert's final performance. Single tear.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

American Idol Exclusive

Not really an exclusive, per se, since it's all over the Internet, but the top 12 boy/girl contestants will be singing music from the Rolling Stones next week.

Which means that unless Katelyn Epperly gets the boot tonight, we'll most likely have to hear her play (I can't get no) Satisfaction on her keyboard.

Gross, huh?

Here are a few more stabs in the dark with my eyes closed:

If Lilly gets her first pick, she's gonna sing Paint It Black.
Really super slow, in her creepy possessed voice, with smoky eye makeup and feather earrings.

I certainly hope that lil orphan Aaron is not there next week, but if he is, he's gonna sing a slow, heartfelt rendition of Honky Tonk Women.

Mullet should sing Wild Horses*, but people with diabetes get first pick, so Dirty Teeth will snag that song. And she'll break away from the mic mid song and play her headgear harmonica with her eyes closed.

DiDi will sing Jumpin' Jack Flash, cuz it's without a doubt the wrong song choice for her. Followed by tears, of either sadness or joy.

Shebang will sing Start Me Up, she'll wear suspenders, and she won't change the part that goes, "you make a grown man cry," cuz she's singing it about herself, making her dad cry.

Casey will look in his box, and then sing Gimme Shelter, including the entire 1 minute guitar solo intro.

Tim Urban will sing an upbeat version of Sympathy for the Devil, with a grin on his face and twinkle in his eye.

Big Mike will sing Miss You, to show his high range.

Todricky (if he survives this cut) will sing the phone book.

Andy Garcia will sing Toxic, by Britney Spears.

Results show group performance will be an a Capella lip-sync of You Can't Always Get what You Want.

What else? I'm out of songs.

Wait, Katie (if she's there) will sing Get Off of my Cloud, dedicated to her grandma who's been stealing the spotlight from her since day one.

K, what else? Who am I missing?

*Srsly, half the contestants should sing this song. There's not much variety amongst them this year.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Fascinating-type info and a few personal opinions

The last seven days have been week.
But I'm gonna make up for it today with a strong post full of fascinating-type information and a few personal opinions.

First, Tony's B-day was not last Saturday, but the Saturday before. Feb. 27th, to be precise.
But it's never too late to post a birthday-boy picture, true?

He had the best birthday he's had all year! Believe you me. It was special.

Now, about American Idol. I've had much to say about this season, but I've been entirely too lazy to put it into sensical words and phrases. So I'll just say that, so far, this season is turning out to be a huge snooze fest, and also, I love Mullet kid.

I vote for him as many times as I like B4 voting closes...

(turns out, his name is Alex)

I love a good underdog/comeback story, but I voted for... Alex... even after he gave that mediocre performance during the top-12 round. Now I can claim that I knew he was something special all along, and that I didn't just vote for him on account of his awesome mullet.
He's totally the dark horse*, you gize.

(*opinion subject to change)

Last week, I snagged this picture of Dirty Teeth during the show, when one of her dreads caught my attention:

I found this humorous, as I imagined that lock had its own mind and it wanted to wander off and check out the stage, look around, sniff the air, etc. Just wondering if anyone was thinking the same thing.

Now, switch topics. Here's an article written for Newsweek in 1995, regarding all that "Internet hype."

"You mean to suggest that some day people will buy and sell books and magazines over the Internet without the aid of real salespeople? Charight," says old guy with no imagination.

Fifteen years later, and we're far beyond buying and selling old-school glue-and-paper-type books over the Internet:

K, last but certainly not least... Can you do me a favor real quick?
Oh, pretty please with a cherry on top! (Ahem.)
Do you remember Patchy, who brought all those pirates to our friendly HG cake decorating contest a while back?

Well, she just started a "Nicole Johnson Offroad" Facebook page, and she needs to collect a plethora of "fans" ASAP. Let's face it, we're already fans, 'tis time to make it official!

So if all one hundred of you both of you would kindly take two seconds of your time, click HERE, and become a fan of Patchy, I'd be much obliged.