Road Trip

Destination: Albion, Idaho.
Population: Us, various bloggers/relatives, and a couple hundred
locals (enough to run the Quickie Mart and the Dairy Queen)

You see that giant pill bottle in the hills? That's mine. I did that.
Yes, the fun has already begun and we're only halfway there.

iLandee

So, I was a guest on the nerdcast iLandee last night. You can listen to it on iTunes HERE.

We discussed fascinating topics, such as Life After People, and aliens using Steven Cobert's DNA to recreate the human race, and the TLC series "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant", and the unpleasant color pink.

So go check it out. Thanks, Landee, for having me on.

Life After People

I'm gonna watch this tonight on the History Channel, after American Idol. Depressing, yes.

Weeds

My neighbor decided to let his weeds flourish. It looks lovely. All
that green! It's probably costing him a bundle in HOA fees. So worth it.

Dear Las Vegas

Why do you have to be so perfectly sunny and warm all the time? It's like you're rubbing it in our faces or something. The most frustrating part is that I am constantly saying how I'd like to move away from here, but then you come back at me with this kind of weather. I guess you are bound and determined to make me look like a liar.

That said, after lying on my tramp, looking up at all that blue sky, I have decided to forgive you.

Warm regards,
Jespy Espy

Bugs and Emo

I was at my computer the other night, and I looked down and there was a cockroach sitting on my knee. Without warning, no tickle as it crawled up my leg or anything. It was just sitting there all the sudden. I don't think I've ever screamed so loud in my life, and without any restraint. I just kept screaming and screaming.

The door to our office was open, and I could see Tony sleeping about ten feet away, and he is a really light sleeper, and I know he heard me screaming and screaming. I even asked him about it in the morning, and he said "yeah, I think so." Yet he didn't move a muscle. So if a killer/rapist breaks in, I'm assuming I'm on my own.

But, needless to say, I barely slept that night after the cockroach, and I had a creepy dream, similar to Kafka's The Metamorphosis. Since then, I've had to sleep with the blanket over my head with only a small pocket of air to breathe, in case a cockroach tries to crawl into my mouth or up my nose while I'm sleeping.

But, I haven't seen any cockroaches since. He might have been a "lone wolf."

In other news, Gus needs a haircut bad. It hangs down almost to the tip of his nose, and I try to keep it combed to the side, but by the end of the day it's all falling forward and he's gazing out through this veil of hair. Cord keeps calling him an emo, and Gus doesn't seem to be bothered by that. I asked Gus if he think he looks like an emo, and he said yes. So I asked him what an emo was, just to see if he knew, and his answer was something like this:

"It's when someone in your family dies, or one of your friends die, and you are really sad, so you take a knife and start cutting yourself..."

And I burst out laughing when he said that, because he has an "emo" confused with a "cutter," and why does my seven-year-old know this sort of junk? Did I miss a special episode of iCarly?

There's something about tiny flip-flops...

Let's Get Crackin'

These pictures are from Saturday. My niece Maddie called at about 10 that morning (woke us up cuz we're lazy) and said there was an Easter celebration going on at the park down the street, so me and the kids threw on some clothes and went, un-showered and looking like the cast of Oliver Twist. We also didn't belong there, since the event was put on by another HOA (Corey's HOA--Maddie's dad, if you didn't know).

Look at the sky in these pictures tho. It wasn't super cold, maybe about 70, but those were some menacing looking clouds.

Here's my niece France with a lady bug...

Allergies...

A little better...

Gus found that eye patch in one of his eggs.

Then Tony met up with us and we went to the library, went shopping for some long-overdue new clothes for the boys, and out to eat at Macaroni Grill.

Then we went home and decorated eggs...

Gus is "hat committed" here, and in desperate need of a hair cut...

How it all turned out...

That's Tony's egg on the bottom there, that says "let's get crackin'."

Southside of Town

These pictures are from last Thursday.

Las Vegas is really spread out, so we typically stick to our side of town, where the respectable people reside. There's kind of a feud between the north and south here in Las Vegas, a civil war, if you will. <--Just made that up.

Anyhow, we were looking for an excuse go explore the south trenches. Enter, the Parks (Carol and Cris), who were in town visiting their son who happens to live on the opposing side. So we met them at Panera's, fully armed.

I'm making this exciting, aren't I?

Afterward, we took the kids to Sam's Town casino.
They have this loverly indoor nature area that's about 10 stories high with a glass ceiling. Nice vibe in there.

Homer wanted this picture with the bear, but he was nervous about turning his back on it.

This is a balcony overlooking the nature area. This is all indoors, btw.

Another balcony...

They had glass elevators that overlooked the area and we rode them up and down a few times.

After Sam's Town, we toured the Ethel M chocolate factory up the road. We got ice cream...

Homer grew a chocolate goatee...

Then we walked through the nearby cacti gardens. Homer kept his goatee...

How could anyone sleep like this?

My neck hurts just looking at him.

She's Real...

Got to meet AV and UV (aka carol and cris parks) IRL. Had a loverly
visit AND they bought us lunch. Booyeah. So fun. Must meet again! Add
more later...

Why do I love Spring Break?

Because I can stay up 'til 2:30am and not stress about having to wake up in five hours.

I just finished reading this month's Smart Remarks Book Club book: The Thief by Megan Something Turner. Very pleased with it. So clever. But I must save my deep thoughts for our meeting. Just wanted to say to Markie, for nominating this book, "That'll do pig, that'll do."

And I'm eagerly moving right along to the next book in the series...

Spring Break '09

This is Gus and Homer, inside these pillowcases, meowing like a bag of
cats about to be drowned. I'm glad they found something interesting to
do.

Ah, Spring Break

Gus tells me he's about to die of boredom, so I figured I'd better document his last days.

Diet Coke

I thought today was Saturday. Very confusing. And I can't remember yesterday.

I suspect this has something to do with the fact that, lately, my Diet Coke levels have been all out of whack.

See, a few weeks ago, I decided to cut WAY back on Diet Coke. I cut it down to two or three DCs a day--no rehab, no patch, did it cold turkey. I had a migraine from H for two days straight and came close to performing my own brain surgery, but whatever. I endured.

And my two three Diet Cokes a day became quite a special treat. They tasted better too.

But last Sunday, I completely relapsed. I think it was because we were out of Slim*Fast so I had to have a Diet Coke for breakfast. And from there, I was like, "screw it." I drank a dozen or so, leaving only one or two rolling around in my vegetable crisper drawer by the end of the day.

That night, I couldn't sleep, and ended up pulling an all-nighter. Yes, I cut back on Diet Coke for one week, and suddenly I can't hold my caffeine.

::I'm so excited, I'm so excited, I'm so... scared!::

Monday sucked.

So I disciplined myself and went back to three four Diet Cokes a day. Much better.

And then yesterday, relapse again. I emptied my crisper of Diet Cokes, which Tony had just stocked to the brim on Monday.

So now it feels like Saturday and I don't remember yesterday.

Here's my question tho, we have over 6000 Coke Reward points. Which means we could get a grill, a hand vac, binoculars, AND an American Idol coaster set. OR we could get eight day passes to Dollywood, and still have enough leftover for that AI coaster set. What would you gize do?

Delusional?

Boys

You know how Homer goes to the YMCA on Fridays? He calls it "school" and takes a tiny backpack with him, but it's more like organized play time. Well, he's become completely obsessed with it. It's the highlight of his week. He talks about it all week long, never takes his backpack off, prays every night that he can "go to school on Friday," asks every morning if it's Friday... and I just found out that the YMCA isn't doing Friday Fun Day in the month of April due to Spring Break.

I don't have the heart to tell him.
He's already asked me a million times if today is Friday, with his lil backpack on and everything.



Speaking of backpacks, my kids's backpacks were so packed full of papers and junk, that they could never find their homework, or any important papers. So I gave them a trash bag and made them clean them out. A while later, Gus comes up with a pile of stuff for me. There were THREE citizenship awards in the stack, including predated notices telling me that he was being presented with that month's citizenship award and inviting me to the morning assembly.

I was annoyed because I'm sure it must have seemed to his teacher that I don't care if he gets the citizenship award, and I do care. A little bit, anyway. I think Gus is the one who doesn't care. He's basically getting an award for being shy.

Speaking of Gus, today is spring picture day at their school. They took school pictures in the fall, but in the spring, they take the class pictures. This is how they get you to buy more pictures that you don't want, because I DO want the class picture, so I end up buying a package.

Anyway, they have all these ridiculous backgrounds to pick from, like laser beams, lockers with sports equipment spilling out, a brick wall with e=mc2 graffiti on it, a wall of license plates (my personal fave), etc. So this morning, they were looking over the options and Cord decides he wants the American flag background, and Gus just gives him this look, and Cord's like "what?" and Gus goes, "that background does not match your outfit." Cord argues with him for a while, then he moves on this rock wall background, and Gus goes, "you'll blend right into the wall." And he's right because Cord is wearing a sweater that is the exact same shade as the wall. Cord's all frustrated and Gus suggests he goes with the waterfall background, which probably complements his outfit the best. For himself, Gus went with the winding walkway and lamppost, which will bring out the grays in his sweater without completely washing him out.

Gus cares about clothes and style, not citizenship awards.