Friday, September 4, 2009

Post in which the Winner of the First Annual Hunger Games Cake Decorating Contest is Announced, and the Losers are Soothed with Consolation Prizes


The apron that started a war...

The mouse pad that barely sparked anybody's interest...

And the magnets that people were willing to be bumped down to third place for...

I am almost afraid to announce the results. Almost. But not really. Srsly, it's just an apron.

I had planned to reveal the cake decorators by posting a picture of them eating their cake, but most people have a good idea of whose cake is whose by now so the dramatic effect will be lost. Also, only 4 people sent me pictures, and such an asymmetrical reveal will never do. So I'm just going to tell you.

It was a VERY close race.

In third place, we have a three-way tie...

Katniss Everdeen. The Girl who was on Fire by Sara

(Warning: May contain lead, or small bits of melted plastic hair.)

"Yes Frosting. The Final Defense of the Dying." by Landee

(%100 edible, as long as you don't mind eating a tiny piece of paper and a tooth pick.)

"Peeta!" by JennyESP

(Yes, that's mine. I don't know whether to eat it or make-out with it.)

Note: Since we have a three-way tie in third place, and I am one of them, I'm am bowing out. That leaves Landee and Sara. Here's what I'm gonna do. I can't send you both two magnets, due to the economy etc. So you two will need to fight over who gets what magnet. You each get one. And go.

In second place...

Here's where it gets tricky, so I'm gonna have to come back to the second place winner.

In first place, we have a tie...

Death of Rue by Memzy

::down on one knee, head bowed, as a cannon fires off in the distance::

Silver Parachute by Shel

(Say Aloha to those Polynesians for me, eh?)

So here's the plan. I have an apron and mouse pad. You two can both claim first-place bragging rights, and then decide between the two of you who gets the apron and who gets the mouse pad, OR we can have a tie breaker vote, and one of you will get bumped down to second place. OR, I can cut the apron and the mouse pad in half and send a half to both winners.<--now we'll see who really loves the apron.
Now for the winner of the poisonous nightlock berry jam...

60 Seconds by Markie

Really, Markie, I had no idea that you were such a big Adam Lambert fan, and that there is a store that sells tiny Adam Lambert paper dolls. Remember, don't eat the jam, feed it only to your worst fox-faced frienemy. Mockingjay, perhaps?

Congrats to those winners.

Now, to the winner of the fair-and-square (ahem) popularity contest.

The infamous Mockingjay by Amy "Hot Pants" Thurston

Now, Mockingjay, I know it was hard to climb to the top, only to fall so far to the bottom. You are like the Britney Spears of cake decorating. So I have decided to go ahead and let you have this apron for all your hard campaigning work. You also get this refrigerator magnet.

Mockingjay's publicist, who was behind most of those fair-and-square votes, wins this consolation prize.

There, now tell those pirates to stop emailing me.

Next, we have our entries who came so close, yet so far away, to winning.

Cornucopia, Rue, and Tracker Jackers by Standsmom

This might be the biggest tragedy to come out of this contest. See, if only Stands had realized that she really made the tracker jacker hive that Katniss knocked down from the tree, instead of the cornucopia, she would have swept the whole competition, IMO. So as a consolation prize, you get this appealing magnet:

Next, we have the nemesis of the above mentioned cake, CORNUCOPIA by Flem

The thing is, Flem has proven on her blog, time and time again, that she is a creative and talented cake decorator. The reason her Hunger Games cake didn't come up to standard was because:

We totally understand, Flem. That's why you're gonna get that magnet.

Last, but certainly not least, Katniss, Sitting on Peeta, Buried in the River Bank by Sam

For making me laugh so hard I spewed Diet Coke all over my keyboard, you will be receiving this:

There. The whole thing is over. Until next year, at least. It's been the most fun ever. Thanks are owed to the ten cake makers who threw their tributes into the ring for a bloody battle. I would tip my hat to you right now, but I'm not wearing one.

Update/Dramatic Twist:

You thought it was all over, did you? Now you gize are going to find out how weak I am. I'm no President Snow.

Mockingjay put up a really good argument as for why I should have stuck with the original poll, and not had the re-vote. I think she made some valid and excellent points.

This was my problem: once people starting throwing in fake votes, it was hard for me to determine who was getting real votes and who was getting fake ones. My evidence was shaky. All I could do was jump back and forth between my sitemeter and my polldaddy results page, trying to catch people in the act. But even that wasn't an exact science. If I wanted an exact science, I would have had to pay $200 to upgrade my polldaddy account. However, I knew for sure that a few cakes were getting tons of fake votes, because the makers gave me a full confession.

What I did next may have been hasty. I decided that the whole poll was corrupt and announced a very dramatic and exciting re-vote.

The only problem was, Mockingjay. Like in any war, poor Mockingjay ended up being collateral damage.

You see, Mockingjay, the winner of the poll vote, DID NOT cast any fake votes for herself. In case you don't know Mockingjay well, let me say that I was not the slightest bit surprised when she received the most votes, despite that bird lying on her cake, because she is freakish popular. Personally, I don't get it, but that's beside the point. In the spirit of full disclosure, I will say that I am not convinced that the pirates who swarmed my blog to vote for her cake did not cast a few fake votes, but my evidence is extremely shaky. Either way, she won by a landslide over someone whose total score was comprised mostly of fake votes. She didn't need any fake votes to win.

Here's my problem now. I hate collateral damage. I feel like it was wrong of me to let that occur. So now I have guilt guilt guilt guilt, gnawing away at me when I think of the awesome apron that slipped right through Mockingjay's broken little wings. I am about to make things right with poor, dead Mockingjay, and I hope she will accept my attempt to make things right. I know all the cake makers will support me when I do this, because after reading all that, you can't deny that something must be done about poor Mockingjay.

So, I am naming Mockingjay the official winner (by a landslide) of the all-important original popularity poll contest, fair and square. She gets to keep her bragging rights, and she also wins this well deserved apron:

I hope you all enjoyed the last twist in this dramatic cake decorating contest. The ups and downs, and trying to outsmart all you devious cake makers (as well as the pirates), has made this the MOST funnest contest I have ever had. Big congrats to Mockingjay and the other winners and the losers too!


PS. You don't get that magnet, tho, Mockingjay.


Hot Pants said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hot Pants said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Landee said...

I am honored to have placed in the top 5. I'll let Sara decide which magnet she wants since I think she beat me in the popularity contest.

Memzy said...

WHAT?!!?? I was, like, 7th in the popularity contest. SEVENTH!! I am soo honored. Is this where I give a speech to all the other districts while Peeta and I travel on a train, sleeping together every night, and handing out free food to Rue's family?

Memzy said...

And I will let the very talented parachute cake maker decide who gets what (even tho she voted Landee's best over mine). Srsly. You say Shel. I'm open.

samandlysander said...

That was definitely a tough competition with some very talented cake makers. I better start drawing up plans for next years contest today so I can stand a chance.

Congrats to the winners, you gize did great! Oh, and I'm super excited about the magnet.

Flem said...

I love this contest, the hostess of it, the pirates, and the tracker jacket hive. I love that my cake looks like it actually contains a disease and most of all I love Catching Fire. Thanks to you amazing bakers for making this a competition worth losing.

eekareek said...

Oh my goodness! This is so unexpected, I didn't even write a speech. Okay first of all, I was like to thank Jenny for hosting the game. I would also like to thank my mom, where are you mom?, for always being there and supporting me. Thank you to my friends who let me cry on their shoulders during the baking of the cake and through out the competition. Thank you to cashier lady at Walmart for ringing up my cake and frosting and to the lady at the hobbie center for checking me out when I bought my barbie head. Thank you to my BIL for taking the pictures for me. And last but not least, I want to thank ::getting choked up:: my husband. He is the one who blew the cake up at the end and destroyed my cookie sheet. I love you, sweetheart. Thank you! Thank you everyone who voted for me!!

Krissy said...

That was loads of fun and sooooo entertaining. My only regret is that I did not make a cake.

P.S. I heart Peeta.

Hot Pants said...

I'm a sore loser. Working on that. I'll wait to finish my comment when I get out of counseling.

StandsMom said...

I gracefully say congrats to the winners. So much fun! Thanks for the advice. I heard the little voice in my head two or three times say, "it looks more like a hive..." But, recently, I've been very neglectful of the little voice. I need to work on that.

Memzy said...

I knew mockingjay was a sore loser but I had no idea the extent of it!!. I'm just glad I wasn't in charge. The pressure!! I think you've handled it well and I hope this doesn't prevent you from doing stuff like this in the future. Cuz it was some srs fun.

Jenny ESP said...

^^No, this wasn't Mockingjay's fault. Trust me, the pressure mostly came from myself. She did work that popular vote, aaaalllll day long. And she's responsible for that entertaining pirate invasion. Well deserved.

Hot Pants said...

Oh no, the transfer of the guilt. Slick move I must say. My stomach will never recover. ::chewing a couple Tums::
Ouch, I just read Memzy's comment.
::chewing up a handful of Tums::
Please don't order another apron.
::shaking out the rest of the Tums crumbs and licking them off my hand::
Half the fun of competing is the arguing. I'm fine now, I promise.
::yelling at Dwight to run to Walgreens::

Markie23 said...

Those Adam Lambert dolls were not purchased in any store. I made them myself and printed them out on my own printer. The worst part was the high pitched screeching noise they made as they came out of the printer.

I'm not going to be able to resist trying that jam... so listen for the cannon fire, and watch for my face in the sky at night.

Also, I want those deleted comments. You can e-mail them to me later. It'll be our little secret.

ShelBailey said...

OK, this was srsly fun and took over our lives for a few days. Gave us LOTS of laughs (me and my cake helper Lysa, who srsly needs to join your bookclub) and took our minds off all the rest of the crap we're dealing with. We're looking forward to next year, although she and I may compete against each other.

Memz, Sam says he'd rather have the mousepad, so we'll concede the apron to you.

Landee, I still think you're cake was the coolest. So there. If I wasn't feeling so dang broke, I'd buy you an apron.

Jespy, I LOVED your cake, that was Sam's fave. It srsly looked like a bakery cake.

Markee, we'll be listening for cannons, it's too foggy here to see anything in the sky. :0)

Markie23 said...

Ok, well... here's my argument. Mockingjays clearly wasn't the best cake. It wasn't even in the top three best cakes. It was just a cake... with a bottle rocket and a dead bird on it, which I'm pretty sure was made with some kind of fishing lure. However, in true Hunger Games style she did what it took to win; getting help from her sponsors; in this case Pirates who I can almost guarantee cast fake votes, 'cause I don't think there are even 100 "real" pirates alive in the U.S. anymore.
So my point is... how is that different from MY votes, which were also earned in true Hunger Games style, by winning sponsors; in my case Computer Nerds, who helped me figure out how to hijack the votes? Is that guilt starting to come back yet? Yes, I deserved that mouse pad. But you are the Capitol. You ARE President Snow, and I am sitting here choking on your decisions because I haven't read enough of book two to know how to defeat you.

Congratulations Mockingjay. You got your apron. I hope you shoot off your bottle rocket in victory.

Hot Pants said...

There are not enough Tums in the world to help me out anymore. I concede. I don't have the best cake. Thank you for the edited version. It was the nicest thing anyone has ever written about me. It was more reward than I deserved. But, I really would rather eat the berries than own the apron over Memzy or Michelle.
And thank you Markie, for helping me to see how I sounded. I don't want to win by guilting someone into it. But, don't worry, I will ensure that next year, I am, the clear winner. ::heading over to facebook to friend all my friends, friends::
Oh, "people who like peanut butter", totally joining that group. ::laughing, cuz I really hate peanut butter::
Yeah, you gize won't stand a chance.

ManicMandee said...

That was so complicated, my mind is still reeling.

anissa ferguson said...

i am one of the pirates that voted for Mockingjay, what you don't get is how "loyal" she is to you all. I started a club gave her a tshirt and everything but you are all still her favorites.....