Thursday, September 17, 2009

The Equivalent of a Slow Clap

Hey, remember that R.I.P apron I got in the mail on Friday? Well, it seems a trend of sorts has begun, because earlier this week, I received this in the mail:

Yes, a second apron. From Sara. If you can't tell, that little picture below the words is my poor burnt cinnabun, who traveled over the country via the US Postal service. Burnt cinnamon rolls on an apron... ah, the irony. Bravo Sara. And did you catch the miss-spelling? That's more irony, I'm sure, since I'm a terrible speller. I'm sure Sara did that on purpose. Ahem.

Anyway, right after that, I got number three in the mail:

(above two pictures taken by short person, btw)

That one is from the infamous Mockingjay. It's very sturdy and will be perfect for cooking pumpkins and squash. In fact, I think I'm gonna wear it when I burn Thanksgiving Dinner.

Before I could even blog about the "Who's" and "Mockingjay" aprons (I've been a busy busy bee!), I got number four:

That stylish beauty is from Landee. Hand sewn with a sewing machine. Super impressed.

Here I am, cooking in/modeling Landee's apron:

Opening the fridge is step one of cooking.

Step two, pull something out and figure out what you can make with it:

Step three, realize that you grabbed a bottle of Aloe Vera, which is inedible.

Step four, go to Taco Bell and get $0.39 tacos.

(Listen, I know you gize will be tempted to enlarge those pictures so you can inspect my fridge. It's all very standard, so don't bother. But I will tell you something interesting about those four pieces of paper on my fridge. The two underneath are boring; they're just Tony's work schedule from January and February of 2008. But the two papers on top are important: two spelling tests that Cord got 100% on, in the spring of 2007. Way to go Cord!)

Now, back to the aprons. I love all these aprons like my own children. I can't pick between them, so I've taken to wearing ALL of them when I go to Taco Bell. Layering is in.

And they each have their very own hook in the kitchen:

However, I can't help but wonder why the H I keep getting aprons in the mail, unsolicited and all. Here are my guesses:

A) I accidentally enrolled myself in an apron of the day club.

B) An adolescent LDS boy is asking me on a creative date.

C) I am receiving the equivalent of a "slow clap" from a few of my fellow cake decorators for my expertise in the kitchen.

I'm gonna go with C.
So, thanks. I really appreciate it.
::wiping away single tear, as the applause reaches a crescendo::


Memzy said...

Oh it's definitely B) Your looks and hawtness are most of what you have to offer my friend. Don't ever take your baby status for granted.

::starting another slow clap while putting two fingers to my mouth and then extending them towards you::

I can't wait to hear about all the times you tell the guests in your house why you have so many aprons and why on earth they say those things. Good times.

Landee said...

::putting the three middle fingers of my left hand to my lips and then holding my hand out to you because that is the RIGHT way to do the HG rebel salute::

Isn't that ribbon tied around the back adorable? I may have worn it around all day before mailing it. Does it smell like me?

PS Here's how it went down: ::iPhone rings and it says HOT PANTS on the caller ID:: Hey Landee...listen, I'm feeling bad that Jespy had to go and buy me another apron cuz I was pitching a fit so I was thinking we should all make her an apron. ME: Ok, HotPants. Just don't hurt me. ME: ::creating that masterpiece in record time::

ShelBailey said...

You know, the day after the contest was finally over, Sam said, "we should all send Jenny an apron...out of the blue".

Didn't write it down in the margin of my book, though, so I have no proof, of course.

Not that we did anything other than talk about it, so kudos to the apron makers.

Flem said...

I wish I would have contributed. Definitely slow clap turned ovation.

You have brought so many together over this, you deserve these aprons.

Hot Pants said...

It's cuz I was out of tums.

Hot Pants said...

And, I believe the idea first came to me in an IM session with Michelle. So she may not have written it in a margin, but she wrote it on facebook. And Facebook is the biggest book of all.

amanda said...

You should be in an apron catalog. You look great in them. And I'm super impressed with Landee's domestic skills.

eekareek said...

Of course I misspelled "whose". I didn't think you would be able to read it if I spelled it correctly.

Dose <----pronounce does.

Emily said...

Those aprons are all cool, but Landee should definitely get major kudos for hand making your one. Maybe she could go into businesss? SRSLY.

Thanks for the laughs.

Hot Pants said...

What makes you all think mine wasn't hand-made? Just cuz I didn't attach a ribbon.

Krissy said...

You may have to take up cooking now that you have all those cute aprons...or even better, send one to Jana so she can wear it during her cook-off taping.

Carol said...

Congrats on all the aprons. Well deserved--not because of your cooking skills (I've only heard rumors) but because of your generous heart. Cris and I were commenting today how there's this group of girls (grown women) who have so much fun on line/blogging/visiting/movie premiering/connecting. Friends are a good thing. And Landee's "I hate meat" comment on your apron made me laugh out loud. She knows you.

Landee said...

Please note who's/whose apron Jenny put on the OUTSIDE of the layering. I know I noted that.

HP, not only was yours not hand-made...I don't even think your hands have ever physically touched it. The sans-ribbon wasn't what gave it away.

Markie23 said...

I wonder why no one IM'd to tell ME of the great apron caper. Do you think it was because they were intimidated by my cake decorating skills?
If I had the means I would cover you in mouse pads. ::slow clap::

Annie said...

I feel that by reading this post I have stumbled upon some spoilers of the book I have only just started reading. Do I need to stop reading your blog until I finish my book or what?