Embrace the World in Grape

*I just wanted to explain why I tell Homer to "get your own camera" in a snotty voice. See, he has his OWN camera and he was trying to take MINE!

If you haven't already guessed from the video, Homer is a total Emo.
(See these depressing pictures below)

Steal These Pictures

I'm posting this long row of Easter pictures so the parents/relatives of these ragamuffins can steal them.

No Place Like Home

Well, we're back. Our vacation had its highs and lows and lower lows and lowest lows of our life. Here's a few things we learned:

• 2-year-olds don't want to just kick-back-and-relax
• Even a ginormous cruise ship can catch air if the waves are big enough, and roll about 45 degrees sideways without actually tipping over
  
• Anthony, with the immune system of a robot, is not immune to seasickness (after 24 hours of violent rocking)
• The Residence Inn is the best hotel on Earth
• Knott's Berry Farm is 344% cheaper than Disneyland
• Disneyland is the happiest place on Earth
  
• Dwight (AKA Uncle Fun) is the best uncle on Earth (sorry to all the other uncles, but he earned it)
• I'm allergic to Amy's fabric softener

Here's what we did for Spring Break:

We took a Carnival cruise (The Elation) to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, and I can't say I recommend it. I could write for days about all the problems with the cruise ship/port (the worst part was the horrible food aboard the ship!), but I'll just keep it simple and say choose the Royal Caribbean cruise line if you have the option. The highlight of the cruise was when Cord entered a dance contest and won! It was pretty funny--he has no shame. He was so excited about the little trophy he got.

Here's our cruise pictures, if you're interested:

We decided to try to redeem our vacation after we got off the ship. We stayed an extra night in San Diego at the wonderful and amazingly priced Residence Inn, we took a homeless man out to lunch and gave him our left-over Krispy Cream donuts, and we took the kids to Knott's Berry Farm. All I will say about Knott's Berry Farm is that the kids absolutely loved it, and we got exactly what we paid for (and it was cheap).

Here's our San Diego pictures, if you're interested:

When we got home from California (12:30 AM Wednesday) we had a mountain of newspapers on our driveway, and all of the smoke detectors in our house were going off. Our house wasn't on fire, and there wasn't any smoke, but I was stilled creeped out by it. I called Tom, since he's an alarm expert, to see if he would know why our smoke alarms were going off, and our conversation went something like this:

Me: Tom, we just got home and all of our smoke detectors are going off, but our house isn't on fire and there's no smoke. Is there some other reason they would be going off?

Tom: eh, I don't think I put smoke detectors in your house.

Me: I know you didn't. They came with our house. Every house has smoke detectors. But do you know why they would be going off?

Tom: Smoke detectors go off if your house is on fire.

Me: I know. But our house isn't on fire and there is no smoke. Is there some other reasons they would be going off? Can they detect carbon monoxide also or something like that?

Tom: I'm pretty sure I didn't put smoke detectors in your house.

Me: I KNOW! Everybody has smoke detectors. It's the law. Can't you hear them going off?

Tom: Yeah.

Me: My house isn't on fire, is there some other reason why my smoke detectors would go off?

Tom: Yeah. Smoke detectors go off if they detect smoke.

Me: I KNOW! But there is no smoke, our house is not on fire, and every single fire alarm in our house is going off.

Tom: (pause) I'm pretty sure I didn't put smoke detectors in your house.

(the conversation went on like this for 15-20 minutes--very annoying.)

Tom called me back the next day and said, "I was thinking about it, and I'm sure I didn't put smoke detectors in your house. Ask Katie."

Thursday morning, the boys and I got up early to drive up to Idaho. Anthony had to work and couldn't come, so Erin and her girls decided to squeeze in with us. We packed very light in order to fit... at least I did. Ahem. Anyways, the older kids looked super cramped but they never complained. Amy's an excellent hostess, and her home is very comfortable and humongous. (Thanks Amy!) If you haven't stayed with the Thurstons yet, I highly recommend it. The kids had so much fun--thanks very much to Dwight. He entertained the kids all weekend. He took them ALL (8 kids) swimming at the YMCA, then he took them out to eat! He also took them all on a walk to the Maverick gas station--which was "so awesome!" according to Gus. To top it all off, he took the older kids snowboarding on the last night. Cord had so much fun and considers himself a "snowboarder" now. He can't wait to conqueror Mt. Charleston. Thanks again, Dwight!

We also had a fun game night with our Bailey cousins. Shout out to Heather who showed up an hour or two before everyone else (she was on time). We laughed pretty hard playing "Liebrary." It was fun. On Saturday we had a nice visit with our cousin Amanda, and then we went out. Fun, fun. But gross food.

On Easter, I broke out in hives all over my body. It wasn't pretty but at least my face was spared. I have no idea what caused it (my best guess is fabric softener), but it didn't completely go away until that evening. We had a delicious brunch (Dwight rules!) and a quick Easter egg hunt before heading back to Las Vegas. (I'll post my Easter pictures in another post--this is getting long). It's good to be home. I don't even mind that I came home to a crap load of stuff to do.

By the way, Sara fixed my Mexican-red hair, bleaching it out and cutting a few inches off. Notice my old hair color in our cruise pictures, verses my hair color in this picture:

Vacation

I just wanted to let everyone know that we will out of town on a sweet family vacation for the next six days. The neighbors are watching our pet turtle. Please keep an eye on my blog for me. I'll be back the middle of next week, and then I'm jet-setting off to Boise, ID--in my car. I'll fill in the details of our vacation when we get back (the above picture is a clue). I don't have time to post anything for Morgan Nish's birthday, which is this Friday, so I wanted to wish him a happy birthday, and I'll do something for him when we get back.

This is what Homer did while I was distracted, packing for our trip:

I hear this loud, obnoxious car-horn honking outside and finally go out on my balcony to see what is going on, and I see Homer, sitting in my neighbor’s car, honking the horn! Way embarrassing. I started to run down the stairs to get him, but then I came up with a less-embarrassing idea, and sent Cord out to get him instead. The horn was honking for another five minutes or so after that--Cord said he had locked himself inside the car and he wouldn't come out. I was hiding in my bathroom, so I didn’t see. What kind of person leaves their car unlocked anyways?

Playaz

Awhile ago, Amy discovered that she knows a guy that I sort-a dated a few times before I up-and-settled for Anthony (I won't mention his name in case he googles his own name first thing in the morning like I do, but he was a friend of both Anthony and I--perfectly nice guy). Anyhow, when Amy and "the guy" figured out that they both knew me, he told her that when he knew me, I was a "total player"--with a straight face. Needless to say, I was thrilled with his generous assessment of my dating history.

Anyway, I hear he has a lovely wife and a van-full of gorgeous kids, so I guess he dodged a bullet with me, because I haven't changed a bit.

Family Home Video Day: Almost Famous

Some of you might have noticed that I forgot to make a FHVD post last Monday. Then again, nobody mentioned it, so maybe nobody noticed. Either way, I was disappointed in myself for forgetting and decided to punish myself (much like Silas the albino from The Da Vinci Code) and so I'm posting a less-than-flattering home video of myself. This was difficult to find, as I was generally a super cute kid and continue to be cute to this day. Anyway, this is me making a dramatic Snapple Commercial, which I fully intended to submit to the company and, subsequently, become famous. Sara's brilliant idea is depicted at the end.

Happy Birthday Amy!

Birthdays up the ying-yang! But we can't forget about Amy Thurstonian. If my calculations are correct, she's about 100-years-old today. Lets watch her grow up before our very eyes, shall we?

Happy Birthday!

Typical Morning Conversation with Homer

H: I want juice, I want juice, mom.

Me: Hold on, I'm just letting some sunshine in. (opening the blinds)

H: I can't want sunshine, mom. Put chicken on the table, mom.

Me: You want chicken?

H: (blink, blink) I can't want chicken, mom. Put, put, put, put pizza on the table, mom.

Me: You want pizza? How about some cereal?

H: (Blink, blink) I can't want cereal, mom. I want juice, mom. I want juice upstairs a mommy's bed, mom.

Me: You want juice upstairs?

H: Put, put, put, put Yardigans on, mom. I wanna watch Yardigans a mommy's bed, mom.

Me: All right.

H: Hold you, mom! I wanna hold you, mom. Hold you, hold you, hold you! (meaning he wants me to carry him upstairs because he's too lazy to climb the stairs)

Bacon & Homer

To answer Katie's questions (see comments in post below), yes there is a tray to catch the grease (doy) and the grill does cook bacon. I got the biggest family size grill, and I paid $40 for it (I had a $40 gift card so it was pretty much free), but they had smaller ones starting at $15 (all on sale at Khols, of course).

This is my exact model; isn't it gorgeous?

Also, here's what Homer's wearing today:

Lean, Mean Grillin' Machine

I recently got a George Foreman Grill--I had been wanting to expand my usual frozen dinner menu for the kids. I absolutely love it! In the words of Woody from Toy Story, "George Foreman Grill--If you don't have one, GET ONE!" (Yeah, I watch that movie a lot). Anyhow, the grill is so fast and easy to use. I just throw a few frozen hamburger patties, or hot dogs, or chicken breasts on there, close it, and walk away. Brilliant! No flipping. But you'll flip when you see how fast and easy it is to use.
Hint: A new model is out that looks all complicated, but I've noticed that the old models are on sale everywhere (anywhere from $15-$40 depending on the size).

Happy Birthday Hayley!

I hope you have a stupendous birthday Hayley! I cannot believe you're 17! I have so much fun hanging out with you and love your sense of humor. If I was a bad person, I would have kid-napped you from Becky a long time ago and kept you for myself. Is it creepy to admit that? Anyways, happy birthday Hayley!

Here's Hayley in her birthday suit:



Hayley is one of the most beautiful people on the planet. What? You don't believe me? Just watch this slide show of Hayley, set to a completely random, yet somewhat familiar, track:



Told ya. Loser.

Here's me (or someone who looks like me) singing Happy Birthday to Hayley:



Here's a bunch of Hayley's friends singing Happy Birthday to her: