Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Wayside Stories from Bilbray Elementary School

Like most of you, I'm dying to know how my kids' day went at school the second they walk through the door, and since I never take "fine" for an answer, and since I reward them when they tell me a really good story by asking a lot of questions and telling them how clever they are or how funny they are, they have learned to come home every day with something interesting to say. I don't have to ask anymore, they come running in and say, "two things!" or "I've got good news and bad news." And let me say, I am never disappointed.

Cord came home from school one time and told me that Victoria had pulled him aside that day and informed him that she sees him walking home from school everyday as her bus passes by, and she asked if he would please wave to her. Cord agreed, but then on the way home, the bus passed by and he completely forgot to wave. He was pacing back and forth as he told me, wondering what he should do, worrying that Victoria would never speak to him again for not waving. I advised him to apologize to Victoria the next day and promise her that he will not forget to wave to her after school ever again, and then, for heaven sakes, keep his eyes peeled for that bright yellow bus! Geez.

The next day, I found myself wondering what Victoria's response would be, and if she accepted his apology, and if Cord would remember to wave to her. (And don't worry, she did forgive him and he hasn't forgotten to wave since.)

There's this really mean, chain-smoking art teacher at Bilbray, Mrs. Whosits, and all the kids are intimidated by her and her scratchy voice. Once, Gus came in my room in the middle of the night, unable to sleep, with this terrified look on his face, because he had applied a huge temporary tattoo of a pirate ship to his forearm just before bed, and afterward remembered that he had art the next day, and Mrs. Whosits would "scream" at him when she saw it. I told him not to worry about it, he could just wear long sleeves that day. Well, he had already thought of that, but it wouldn't work because Mrs. Whosits always makes him push up his sleeves during art. He was teary eyed because he had just applied the tattoo, it was awesome, and he did not want to remove it so soon, but there was no other solution but to do so. I told him to go to bed, and I'd figure something out the morning. And I did. The next morning I covered up his tattoo with about nine or ten band-aids. Mrs. Whosits probably thinks he's a cutter.

Yesterday, Cord told me that the principal sat in on Mrs. Whosits art class to observe her, and while Mrs. Whosits was talking, her nicotine gum flew out of her mouth and onto a student's desk, but the principal was writing something and didn't see it happen and Mrs. Whosits snatched it up quick and put it back in her mouth, and the kids in that class didn't tell on her. So, Mrs. Whosits shared this story with all the subsequent art classes that day (one of which was Cord's class), and told them that since the kids in her first class didn't tell on her, she would reward all the classes that day by being nice to them. Quite a treat, according to Cord.

"And in case you don't know mom," he said, "nicotine gum is what people chew when they can't smoke but are craving the nicotine found in cigarettes."


Markie23 said...

When you pulled the band aids off did some of the tattoo come off, along with some of his arm hair?

Katie said...

Ms. Whatsherface sounds like my PE teacher growing up. But you never told us her reward...
Also, who is this Victoria? You better move before he gets too attached.

Memzy said...

Mrs. Who'sherbutt sounds awesome! I need to start trying that method of asking my kids things. We try it around the dinner table but by then they've "forgotten".

Jenny ESP said...

Markie--no, surprisingly.

Katie--her reward was that she was going to be nice to the classes for one day. That's it. Cord and Victoria are just friends, but he suspects she has a crush on him. He is faithfully devoted to Keeyana, who is white, and who was in his class last year.

Memzy--Dinner is a bad time for us because it's hard to hear them since I'm usually in the other room, eating my Lean Cuisine.

Jenny ESP said...

Forgot to mention, Cord asked if I would take him to see Twilight. Victoria recommended it to him, she's read all the books and Twilight is her favorite movie. He's pretty insistent. I don't think he'll appreciate Edward the way Victoria does.

Landee said...

Victoria sounds like she would walk all over Cord. I would discourage that relationship if I were you.

And FYI, JBird LOVED Twilight and is now attempting to read the books. We'll see how far he gets when he starts realizing that no, Bella is not going to stop being a whiney idiot.

eekareek said...

VICTORIA??!!! It is just like Edward and Bella but backwards.

Is she impossibly fast and strong. Her skin pale white and ice cold? She doesn't go out into the sunlight?

Cord: I know what you are.

Victoria: Then say it. Out loud. Say it!

Cord: Vampire. haaaaaaaa <--heavy breathing

Victoria: Are you afraid?

Cord: ::shivering with a terrified look on his face:: No.

quesetescapa said...

LOVE eekareek's melodrama reenactment. I laughed aloud here early in the am.

I would like to know specific strategies, step-by-step, on how you get your kids to tell the funny stories. I can usually squeeze something out of them on the way home in the car but I always focus on what they learned and that is kinda boring.

Mary said...

I find it very interesting that Cord is so up on the nicotine thing. Did he do a report on it or did he have some sort of firsthand knowledge?

Emily said...

I couldn't sleep last night cuz I was still laughing about this post.
I'm telling ya, you need to write a book!

Cord said...

stop putting my personal life on your blog mom.Put Gus's.personal life on your blog.Anyway,half the stuff you put on this wasn't true.