Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Best Boss Ever

You gize should get a job at CVS working with Tony. He's the best boss ever. A total pushover.

I get away with all kinds of crap being married to him, like changing our baby's name to Homer, and complete failure at everything domestic, and things of that nature. But there is a downside to marrying a "super nice guy." The downside is that he's nice to other people besides me.

So back to Tony the boss. If you were one of his employees, you could be like, "Hey, didn't suchandsuch movie come out today? I've been dying to see that movie! Can I go see it? Right now, I mean. Yeah, can I leave in the middle of my shift and go see it?" Tony, "Er, that's cool." And then Tony will phone me up at the end of the day and be like, "Hey Jenny, we were short staffed today because employee X wanted to go to the movies so I have to stay after work and get us caught up. Without pay. Be home at midnight."

That is not an exaggeration. That exact scenario (letting someone go to the movies) has occurred several times. I try not to give him grief (aka nag him) when he does stuff like this because it stresses him out, and he can't change who he is (not that I want him to). He needs someone on his side that he doesn't have to please all the time, and that's me. So I pick my battles. Like the time he agreed to work the whole Christmas holiday break (overtime) for his Other Pharm, who was a brand new employee and had NO kids, without telling me or asking me if we had any plans... like celebrating Christmas. It didn't even cross his mind that he's the manager, he's been with the company longer, his days off landed on the Christmas break, he didn't want to work over Christmas break, he has young kids at home, a wife that would throw a hissy fit to end all hissy fits, etc...

There was no way he would undo it. It would literally kill him. So, he worked Christmas break for Other Pharm, opting to deal with Angry Wife instead of Angry Other Pharm.


(This is a pic from our first Christmas together you gize. See how blissful?)

After the Dark Christmas of '07, we worked out a pretty good system to avoid these sorts of disasters. It's called Operation I Gotta Ask My Wife. Not necessarily because he needs to ask my permission, but because he needs someone to blame when he has to say, "NO." I have no problem being the bad guy at his work, and I'm pretty nice, if I say so myself. I'm flexible. If you want to change shifts around, that's cool, just be reasonable, be fair, don't take advantage of my Nice Husband. It works like this: say like Other Pharm asks him, "Hey, will you change shifts with me and work the Fourth of July?" His automatic answer is, "Hmm. Tempting, but I gotta check with the Old Lady. You know how it is." Then he calls me up and goes, "Hey Hun, Other Pharm wants me to work the Fourth of Jul... what? OK, OK. Bye." Then he goes, "She said no."

So, cut to last week. Other Pharm got this sweet idea to change their shifts around. Tony followed procedure and proceeded to Operation I Gotta Ask My Wife, and when he did, I was like, "Yeah, I think that's a sweet idea. If you likey, go for it." And he did, so Tony's new work schedule will be like this:

5 days on. 2 days off. 2 days on. 5 days off.

Make sense? It works out to be 88 hours every two weeks. He's gone 7am-11pm on weekdays, and on 7am-7pm weekends. So when he works, I go into "part-time single parent" mode and he goes several days without seeing the kids, but we are used to this sort of arrangement. (His old schedule was the same just 4 days/3 days instead of 5days/2days) And his days off? Sweetness! Five days off in a freaking row. Jealous?

OK, where was I? Oh yeah, the part where Tony has a moment of weakness and forgets about Operation I Gotta Ask My Wife...

So, the new schedule was supposed to start this week, but last week, Other Pharm calls up Tony in the middle of a rush, Tony's pushing pills with the phone glued to his ear, and Other Pharm goes, "Hey, that new schedule, can we start it this week?" and Tony goes, "Um, sure." NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Tony!!!!!!! Ask your wife!!! Ask your wife!!! Other Pharm goes, "Seriously? So you're fine with changing the schedule early?" Tony, "Um, yeah that's cool." Other Pharm, "Excellent, cuz I made all these elaborate plans."

Here's the dill. If they changed the schedule early, then Tony would end up working 96 hours and Other Pharm would only 76 hours, and they would both get paid for working 88 hours.

Is all this math too complicated for you gize?

All you need to understand is that Tony would rather work Other Pharm's shift for her without pay, and hand over his wad of cash to Other Pharm, than tell her, "No."

So, cut to him breaking the news to me. Cut to me throwing the biggest hissy fit you've ever seen. Cut to him stressing out big time. Cut to me writing down exactly what he needs to say to Other Pharm. Cut to him hestitaing and wondering if it's worth making Other Pharm mad. Cut to me bringing up Dark Christmas '07, and bawling. Cut to him looking srsly stressed.

I had no idea if he would actually call up Other Pharm and tell her, "No, I will not work for you and then give you part of my paycheck."

But, Lo and behold, Tony did it. Well, not completely. He did agree to work ONE HOUR for Other Pharm without pay, and give her the money. Wha...? I know you gize, I know. I have to pick my battles, though.

So, you gize should get a job at CVS and work with Tony. He's the best boss ever. And you gize, I heart him.



PS. Ask Memzy gave me this topic to blog about today: "Jenny ESP: Today you should blog about who your favorite kid is and why. Cuz we all have one, don't deny it." So I'm gonna get on that post ASAP. I got to think first. decide on a favorite and stuff.

20 comments:

Erin Beck said...

Or u gyze should come work for me! I am also a fun boss, I will tape things to yer back all day and my boss....I havent even see that guy for months!! He actually reminds me alot of Tony only yonger and balder with like 5 babies...nice nice guy though, so come work for me so I can screw around more!

ahab said...

My dad is always bothering me to get a job. I guess I am 24 till Wendsday so I should get out on my own. Thats right, Wed is my B-Day...hint...hint...jk, don't get me anything, it would be awkward.

Landee said...

I'm pretty sure Tony is flanking your butt in that first pic.

I now understand why you had to become a RED. It's a matter of survival really. You better start praying now that Tony never gets called to be a Bishop. You will never see the man. And plus, he'll be giving free-ride tickets to all the sinners in the ward.

Cut to me wondering if this new schedule is going to interfere with Seattle '08.

Memzy said...

Do I need to be the one to point out that Tony's hand is on your arse in that "first christmas" pic? Niiiice Anfernee, nice. And I love Operation I Gotta Ask My Wife. Shed and I implemented that too a little while back and it works great. And I should mention that you don't have to follow my post advice. It's only advice afterall. I'm not the blogger police or anything. And it might be an issue if your kids read your blog. I don't want one of those boyers feeling all inadaquate or anything.

Sam, Shel & Co said...

Sam's a pro at Operation Gotta Ask My Wife. I have NO problem being the bad guy, and Sam, like Anthony, is just too nice most of the time.

Memzy said...

Aw MAN, Landee snuck in there by seconds!!

Jenny ESP said...

Erin, I hope you don't tell your poor boss that you gotta go to the movies now so bye.

Tony's schedule means that I can have a 5 day "girls trip" every other week. So don't worry, L.

And I already picked my fave son and everything...

Krissy and Jason said...

Tony's a drug dealer? I've been curious about what line of work he was in. With a name like Tony i should have totally guessed that one. Sweet work schedule!

Erin Beck said...

Yo solution solved!! Tony hands me the wad of cash, I push the pills(minus the two I pop) while you all go to the movies!!

Hot Pants said...

How did I miss this beauty of a post?!?! Nice husbands just make nice wives look like B's. But, I prefer when Dwight abides with the policy.
And Tony is a big time perv with that toosh grab! I've never seen such blatant PDA!

Emily said...

Tony is the ultimate "nice guy" and you are very lucky! Way to wear the pants if you KWIM.

Annie said...

I do love the picture of Tony's hand on Jenny's butt. So funny! And can you FAX me over an application to CVC. My fax number is 801-USUCKER!

Katie said...

That is my favorite picture ever! That is my new profile picture. That's right. I think the picture that best reflects me is the one of Anthony grabbing your caboose.

ManicMandee said...

Ok. So I thought that my husband was the nicest person ever, and now I'm thinking I am wrong. But I guess it isn't so much fun for you at times. But because you put up with it, you are also the nicest person. Make sense? I do really, really like Anthony!

hayley said...

well actually...
ive been really thinking about going to school to become a pharmacist. I'm not totally sure yet, but it's at the top of my list right now. so maybe anthony will be my boss. ha.

michelle said...

Anthony takes after our dad when it comes to avoiding conflict - especially at work. Both are just too nice to say NO, but then get really frustrated with the situation after they say YES. Must be some kind of behavioral condition that needs to be re-conditioned...;)

Jenny, I think you are on the right track with operation "Ask Your Wife".

quesetescapa said...

Maybe you should make a recording of his voice saying "let me check with the wife on this one..." so that he doesn't even have to physically say it? I understand his plight, though- saying no at work is hard and I am sure if my husband knew how to blog he would have a similar entry to this one about me...

Jennifer P. said...

Amanda was right---you are brilliantly hilarious! And purrfect at spelleeng all the wurds rong :)!

Best to you,
~Jennifer P.

lovedkat said...

I wish Tony could give up a little bit of that nice stuff and rub it onto my husband....your so lucky that he is that nice, but that totally sucks at the smae time....hopefully he sticks with the call the wife plan from now on!

Cristin said...

I would totally be the best boss ever too. Which is why LM and I have worked out "Let me ask my husband". I also pull out "My husband doesn't like me doing pampered chef/ mary kay/ tupperware/ pary lite, etc. type parties." works great.