Thursday, September 18, 2008

Flank me

Quote from The Host, by Stephenie Meyer...

"...a stranger flanked him a few feet back, their mouths open with shock."

As I was running with Anthony last night, I had a feeling that something, or someone, was flanking me. I glanced over my shoulder and no one was there. But then, as we approached a street light, out of the corner of my eye, I could see a dark shadow quickly approaching my left flank. I panicked, screamed, and practically jumped on Anthony. I totally freaked him out and he was like, "What, what?!?!" And by that time, I realized that the dark shadow flanking me was in fact my own dark shadow. I didn't what to tell him I was scared of my own shadow, so I said I thought a cat was coming after me. He rolled his eyes anyway.

I finally broke my one mile barrier. I thought something was wrong with me because I could not "run" for more than a mile before I had to Wal*mart walk. I was beginning to think I was out of shape. But I think I found a good breathing technique and that's the difference. Anthony nudged me to get my attention--because my iPod was blaring--so he could make sure I knew he was laughing at me for the way I was breathing. So I took out my ear phone for a while to listen to my breathing, and it was hilarious, but then I heard something even more hilarious: Anthony singing random phrases from the song playing on his iPod without even realizing that he was. "Beautiful day... touch me!... take me... higher place... I know... loveless case."

Anthony is very uncomfortable with attention. He'll downplay every accomplishment he's ever accomplished just to avoid getting any attention. It can be annoying because if I brag about something he did, and he'll come along behind me and convince everyone that it was no big deal and list all the reasons why they should not be impressed, and then I look like an idiot. But overall, I'm glad he's humble rather than full of himself (right here, Anthony would deny that he's humble). It's funny watching him do something in front of an audience of friends and family, like if he's opening a gift or something like that. Everyone's attention is on him, and every time, without fail, he'll start humming to relieve the tension. It's always the same ditty. It sounds like this: "Hm hmhm hmhm hmhm," like he's going down a hill to fetch a pale of water.

Proof that the most menial things in my life are fascinating.

14 comments:

Jenny B. said...

HEY SHADOWS ARE SCARY

AND THEN YOU THINK SOMEONE IS AFTER YOU. THATS CREEPY !

SO IM ON YOUR SIDE.
I WOULD JUMP AND ATTACK TO. WE SHOULD TEACH A SELF DEFENSE CLASS

Landee said...

Oh, THIS is the proof. Ok. I get it now.

I coulda sworn they went UP the hill, but maybe, like the morals there, everything is backwards in Vegas.

My dream is to some day go to a fine dining restaurant while flanking someone and being flanked and order a flank steak. I know, I dream big.

ajesplin said...

Shadows can be scary. See here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtpoOdcYCYU

L--you're right, Jack and Jill did in fact go UP a hill. But Anthony sounds like he's going DOWN a hill. (meaning, his "hmms" get progressively lower) And, yes, LV is morally corrupt.

Amanda said...

I was running this morning at 5am alone. It was still dark outside and my heart jumped out of my chest when I saw a mountain lion! Guess what? It turned out to just be a garbage sack. Nerd hu?

Amy Thurston said...

I am always seeing things out of the corner of my eye, even in broad daylight. I think its probably just dead peoples spirits, so its ok.

Krissy and Jason said...

Amy, I am dying laughing at your comment. Jenny, you should add "disturbia" by Rhianna to your playlist...just a thought.

Landee said...

I'm going to need a video or something of Anfernee's "hms" because I just can't picture it.

Markie23 said...

I was on the BYU walking path during lunch recently when I came up behind two middle aged women, deep in conversation, walking ahead of me. It was a narrow path through the trees, and they didn't hear me approach. When I got right up on them, looking for a way to get by, they both spotted me out of the corner of their eyes, and let out a combined scream that would wake the dead. It scared the crap out of me! One of them was holding an umbrella (probably for a situation just like this) and I thought she was going to beat me with it. I apologized profusely for startling them, but if they hadn't been gabbing so much they might have heard me approaching. I guess I am going to have to start wearing a cow bell around my neck when I walk.

Jana said...

You are the funniest person I've ever...not met.
Am I retarded for not even understanding what flank means? Maybe I missed the whole point of Breaking Dawn cause I didn't understand flank.
Your profile is freakin' awesome at any size. Your eyes are completely aligned and you're pretty much showcasing the arms, so yeah, absolute perfection.

Jana said...

PS Markie's comment ^ is hilarious. made me LOL

Amy Thurston said...

Mark, you scared them because you are so manly. Probably from all that football watching.

Mary said...

I have to admit that I've become pretty jumpy ever since I was introduced to S. Meyers and her monsters. Your dad was gone to meetings last night while I was sitting in the dark house all alone (with my bedside lamp providing the only light in the house) reading "Eclipse" and I kept seeing things out of the corner of my eye too! Only they weren't mountain lions, cats, dangerous men, or even someone as handsome as my baby brother. They were scary, creepy bloodsucking things!!!! Yikes!!

Cristin said...

I'm always paranoid that I'm being flanked when I go walking at night so I bring my neighbors dog to protect me or to lick the evil flankers to death.

sarastrasser said...

Morgan flanked me just last night...during our jog, I mean.