Tuesday, August 5, 2008

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

(I stole this picture from my SIL's blog. ;) Michelle is the one on the left with the cute haircut. She's with her brother, Scott, and his girlfriend.)

My SIL, Michelle, will be here tomorrow and I'm thinking that will be just the thing to pull me out of my depressed, zombie-like slump, just like Jacob did for Bella in New Moon by Stephenie Meyer.

Are you at all turned off by my recent, constant reference to the Twilight books? Yeah, me neither. Just checking.

Anyway, I've been reminiscing about the good ol' days when Michelle and I used worked together at MCMS (Micron Custom Manufacturing Systems)--we built computer boards. From scratch. Yeah, I'm smart. Techno Geek.

Basically my job consisted of pushing "start" on a machine that built the boards. But without me, that machine would be off.

We worked the night shift--that's 7PM to 7AM, people, not for the faint of heart--along with my sister Erin, brother Tom, and future BIL Morgan. They were bad employees, but that's another story. I wanted to tell you an embarrassing story that still brings a tear of laughter to my eye...

Like I said, we worked the night shift, and if you've never worked the night shift at a job before, it'll be hard for you to understand how screwed up your sleeping patterns get. Halfway through the week, everything would have to go in reverse. Not easy to get used to.

Anyway, it was my first night back one week, and my sleep schedule was all screwed up, I hadn't been to bed in over 24 hours, and by lunch time (which was 2AM), I was a total zombie.

Normally at lunchtime, I would press "pause" on my machine, and go find whoever I was going to lunch with, and then we'd walk out of the assembly room, straight to the locker room to dump off our smocks and grab car keys, then we'd go out to lunch at Taco Bell, Jack in the Box, or wherever.

But this night, I was so tired and so out of it, when 2AM rolled around and everyone started to file out of the assembly room, I pressed "pause" and followed a random crowd of people out of the assembly room.

Half of the people who worked the night shift brought lunches from home, would store them in these industrial sized fridges in the cafeteria, and would eat lunch at MCMS. So a group of people were headed for the cafeteria, and I just sort of dragged my feet in that direction, in a complete daze.

I'm sure some people were wondering what I was doing at that point, since everyone kinda knew who stayed at MCMS for lunch and who left. Generally speaking, the people who worked at the front of the assembly line and ran the machines went out to eat, and the people who worked at the back of the line brought their lunch.

There was always an underlining tension between the front-of-the-line people and the back-of-the-line people and we didn't usually mix. Both groups thought they were better than the other and both thought they had a more important job. See, we (the front-of-the-line people) would build the computer boards, send them threw an oven to bake, and then them (the back-of-the-line people) would take the boards out of the oven and fix all our mistakes with a soldering iron. See the conflict?

Anyway, that night, I followed a group of mostly back-of-the-line people into the cafeteria, even though, in the four years I had worked there, I NEVER brought a lunch.

I had no business going to the cafeteria. I had no food in the cafeteria, only they had food.

Still, I maneuvered my way through the group and went to the first industrial size fridge, gripped the handles, yanked them open, and held the doors open while I searched the contents of the fridge for a good 30-40 seconds. I created a backup as I stood there, blocking the people behind me from getting their lunch, but I just stood there, totally oblivious, staring at all the Tupperware, brown bags, lunch boxes, etc.

My sleep-deprived mind couldn't comprehend that those were other peoples' lunches. It was as if I had been transported back time, and I was a teenager again, standing at my parent's fridge, starving to death. And, as if I was looking in my parents' fridge, all I saw were crusty old economy-sized condiment bottles, a few cubes of butter, some aloe vera, Tupperware upon Tupperware of leftovers, some milk that was a few degrees to warm, etc and I had just gotten home from high school, and I was STARVING...

And that's when I yelled, "THERE'S NOTHING TO EAT!" --in the loudest, most petulant teenager voice I could manage. Then I slammed the doors, rattling the fridge, and spun around, ready to yell for my mom. Instead I saw a group of startled coworkers.

I just stood there, as it began to dawn on me that I was at work. A few people patiently asked me to move so they could get their lunches, and I sidestepped out of the way.

Here's a rare picture of me working on the assembly floor at MCMS. I was inspecting a stencil. Notice the electrostatic-discharge-free smock, booties, and gloves that I had to wear. (Me thinks someone is paranoid.)

Anyway, if you've ever stayed at my house, you know that I've carried on my mom's long-standing tradition of never having anything to eat, and when I'm particularly starving, I still open my fridge, stare blankly at all the tiny fast food condiment packets, the giant tub of I Can't Believe Its Not Butter, the half-block of cheese, row upon row of Diet Cokes, and then complain aloud that there's, "NOTHING TO EAT!" slam my fridge shut, and stomp away.

Don't worry Michelle, I'm gonna go grocery shopping before you get here. Promise.

*note: so my mom doesn't get mad, let me just say that she DID feed us, and she DID have ingredients for meals in the fridge, just nothing to eat, if you know what I mean.


Memzy said...

I'm hoping you got some death stares from THEM, if yaknowtimsayin. That woulda been funny. Did you enventually make it out to Taco Bell for a bean burrito no onions?

Amy Thurston said...

It was more like we had no "ready made" food available. If you wanted something to eat, you had to put forth a bit of effort. I like to keep things that way. It helps from snacking. It was just embarrassing when friends came over and were hungry. I could offer them something to eat, but it might take 30 minutes to bake it or boil it. Depending on if they wanted a burrito or hotdogs.

Cristin said...

Yeah for you!

Funny story!

I totally know what you mean. My kids are always telling me we have nothing to eat...wait so does LM but like your mom, it's stuff you have to make and did I tell you I hate making food?

Tiffany said...

It's pretty much common knowledge that back-of-the-line people are gaytarded.

PS There was also never "anything to eat" at my house growing up. And if there did happen to be a package of Oreos in the cupboard you had better ask first because 9 out of 10 times it had been specially bought for a recipe Mom was making for Homemaking that night.

Jana said...

You don't know me, but I just had to tell you your blog is HILARIOUS. I'm Krissy's (Atwood) SIL and she told me to read some of your posts cause they were funny. She wasn't lying. I just read a few of your WAY older posts (your glass lens popping out while snowboarding and your journal) and I am seriously crying right now I am laughing so hard. I hope you don't mind if I keep reading. :)

Erin Beck said...

Michelle is a great person. She worked in materials were you would go to check out parts. She was very generous to Morgan and I when we would go to check out super glue then go on a rampage of super gluing peoples items to there tables while at lunch...best job I EVER had! BTW..mom your a great cook!

Krissy and Jason said...

could you be any funnier? Hilarious!

I am kinda new to this whole blogging thing so i'm not quite sure where to respond to your comment, so...you were pretty close on my kids' names. I won't hold you in suspense any longer. I am only telling you because i have pretty much decided that my girls are going to marry your boys because they are so stinkin' cute. Anywho, Brynli is the oldest, as you already know, and then Brooklyn, Jace and Stella. I am not quite sure why i only use their initials, i think it was giving me a sense of security without having to go private. Now that i think about it, it doesn't make much sense!

I went to girls camp last month with our YW and was reminiscing about the one year we made up names for all of our leaders."Coopie,Poopie,Scoopie uppie...Crystal" (I could keep typing them but then this comment would be way too long...ummm, i think it already is!)

amy said...

Jenny, thanks for the nice comments you left over on my blog. So, I should be finishing up Breaking Dawn right now . . . but instead I'm sitting here reading through you're blog and laughing my butt off!

Emily said...

Funny story and I love that you have a picture of yourself doing your job!!

michelle said...

Those were some good times working nights at MCMS with you all!! Let's not forget when Erin and Morgan would send misc items through the ovens (not the right items) or put lovely surprises in their coworkers smock pockets.

Jenny, that is a really funny lunch story - hadn't heard that one...:)

And...Jenny was a FABULOUS host (as always) lots of diet coke and snacks - her house and kids were spotless and she was right on time to pick me up at the airport. THANKS JENNY AND ANTHONY!! HAD A WONDERFUL TIME WITH YOU GUYS!!